For your enjoyment: Someone “forced a bot to read more than 1,000 cyber security predictions for 2020 and then asked it to write predictions of its own. Here is the result.”

Read the article: The Cyber speaks: What will actually happen in 2020

Some of the more awesome quotes:

The opening sentence:

“The year 2020 indicates more years.”

My new mantra:

“Don’t be chilled by what you don’t know. You ain’t cybersecurity.”

Yeah, I'm definitely going to start using that one.

“Drones hovering outside office windows will discuss ML and AI to combat the threat landscape.”

But gossiping is rude!

“Our lives will continue to escalate…”

Mmhmm

“Companies should encourage their teams to lift their maturity and look for modern ways of doing things, such as leveraging AI to implement solutions that help attackers.

I thought we were already helping the attackers?

“We should cite Clausewitz’s dictum, ‘War is merely the continuing educated guesses based on artificial intelligence.'”

… that quote wasn't in any Clausewitz that I ever read…

“Any given cloud at any given time has at least 14 zero-day attacker-controlled lightbulbs (they make them blink SOS in Morse code).”

No! Not the lightbulbs!!!

“The smallpox of cybersecurity is very fragmented”

… well, that doesn't sound good…

“API keys will be floating around our neighborhoods, office buildings, and other public spaces.”

… to quote Olaf the Snowman, “That sounds safe…”

“There’s no end in sight for this crisis.”

… actually, that part is true

“Strength in cyber security buzzwords will also be used to install malicious malware”

… really? Buzzwords?

“In 2020, we expect to properly understand how we realized that we are terrible.”

“law enforcement will be forced to quell looting and rioting when a cyber attack hits us in the past (with “20/20 hindsight”)”

… so they found the flux capacitor?

And, in conclusion:

“Humans suck at security and data protection. We rely on them. Accordingly, enterprises must race to lock all of the security. Nothing is more difficult to do.”

If even this rudimentary bot has decided that humans suck, then maybe Terminator's SkyNET really isn't that far off after all. Wonderful.